Adoption Revisited

When I received the inspiration that we needed to adopt back in 2008 it was probably one of the strongest impressions of the spirit I had ever received but it never resulted in an adoption. I always figured it was just one of those things where its about the journey and not necessarily the destination. Sometimes The Lord puts us on a path because there are lessons we need to learn, it doesn't always lead where we think it might. This is how I always viewed our time spent looking into adoption, it was a detour path we needed to take because there were lessons that we needed to learn. It never occurred to me that the infertility treatments was the actual detour path, though it seams so obvious now. When we were driving back from the doctors, having just learned that we had lost the baby, my mind kept going over the words of a blessing that Spencer had given me just before doing the IVF procedure last August. In that blessing he had said "I bless you that the procedure will work and that it will result in a healthy baby." Really!? I could feel my walls going up I knew I needed to turn to The Lord, to find strength and peace and understanding in him but I did not want to. When we got home Spencer asked me if he could give me a blessing, as he began I could feel my walls begin to tumble. He told me as I kept my heart open I would receive understanding. As he said those words I received that understanding, I knew adoption was what we were suppose to do. Adoption answered the blessing from before, the procedure did take and we will have a baby at the end of it it just not in  the way we had thought.